Proverbs 17:17

There is nothing– nothing on earth and in this world– Nothing! more painful than to have to say “no” to your child, particularly when this child is your only child.

I shared several months back(http://killinmesoftly.wordpress.com/2008/06/25/walk-and-don%e2%80%99t-look-back/) that my then six year old son pressed me for a bulldog. We were too financially unstable to accommodate his oft  repeated requests during those years but I never forgot his audacious perseverance.  We got two cats instead.

Now my son is grown and on his own. He has a life and I couldn’t be more happy and relieved. He’s found his niche here in Southern California.  Me, I don’t belong here, but  I’m trapped,  so  I must stay in faith, keep positive, believe God is in control.  Several years ago I began to search in earnest for two bulldogs.  I have always wanted two.

I have the Power to stay in Faith. I have the Grace to overcome every disappointment. I have the Strength to stay in Peace.   Power.  Grace.  Strength to stay in Faith and Peace. ThatOne . ThatOne daily affirms my occasional waning resolve to be happy and to enjoy this day.

I remain connected to the human race because of ThatOne. The goodwill I receive because of him is more than I have ever received, experienced or enjoyed in my entire lifetime. I meet people and have conversations with people who are genuinely interested, attracted to,  curious about and drawn to him. Then they turn to me and ask questions or ask to pet him or take his picture or tell me about their pet or that they know someone who owns an English bulldog. I am grateful for each and every one of these experiences.

I have even written the Obama’s to encourage them to at least consider the English bulldog. They are just GREAT dogs. Loyal. Funny. Lovable.  Beautiful.  Owning an English bulldog is like having a two year old toddler forever.  They are wonderful, wonderful dogs and companions, and more than that, they are the very epitome of the definition of a friend:

“A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress.” Prov 17:17

I was aimlessly surfing the net one evening 18 months ago when ThatOne’s picture just appeared. The post was dated several days before I’d stumbled upon it so I was certain he’d probably already been sold  but, since nothing beats a try but a failure,  I left a voicemail message anyway.

To my shock and surprise, the owner not only returned my call but volunteered the dog was still for sale as well. I told him right then and there I would take him.

“He’s my dog!” I enthused.

The next day, armed with my MapQuest hardcopy and the asking price in cash, I showed up at the owners home in Oceanside, California. They had what seemed to me like a kitchen full of bullies.  I immediately focused on another bully that appeared to be about the same age as the dog the family was selling.  I decided I wanted to take them both.

“Oh.., I’ll take this one and that one” I gushed.

“Well, you can’t have this one,” He said.

“Ok, then I’ll take that one,” I responded. And ThatOne is his name-O.

I joined bulldog meetup group that I stumbled upon online:  (The Afternoon San Diego English Bulldog Meetup Group).

Today, I donated Science Diet to the Animal Friends of the Valleys  (29001 Bastron St., Lake Elsinore, CA (http://www.animalfriendsofthevalleys.com/).

Every time I feel like checking out, ThatOne keeps pulling me back in. And there came to be morning and there came to be evening. Yet another day. (Gen 1:31).

ThatOne, this post today is dedicated to you.

People let me tell you ‘bout my best friend
He’s a warm-hearted person who’ll love me to the end
People let me tell you ‘bout my best friend
He’s a one boy cuddly toy my up my down my pride and joy

People let me tell you now he’s so much fun
Whether we’re talking man to man
Or whether we’re talking son to son
Cause he’s my best friend now

The theme to the Courtship of Eddie’s Father | 1969-1972 | Harry Nilssen

Despair, Inc.

Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Deep, dark depression, excessive misery

If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all

Gloom, despair, and agony on me*

Finally a philosophy, an attitude, a culture and a website especially for all of us on the broad and spacious leading to ordinary (not that there’s anything wrong with that).   It’s called Despair, Inc.    Check it out.   Here’s  a taste of the incredible array of  goodies you, too, may be able to own thanks to Despair, Inc:

Wish I’d thought to turn it into a living instead of      living in it.

Death is highly underrated. Why else would self-described “Christian soldiers,” those fiercely entrenched in their beliefs, those of the rapture loving, Left-Behind fearing, born-again, homo-phobic, Elizabeth Hasselback Stepford wife Republican variety, postpone the grand reward of eternity in heaven to “be with the Lord” without a breast, or a jaw, endure excruciating pain and suffering while desperately seeking out every extraordinary life sustaining remedy, procedure and equipment modern medical technology and science has to offer for a mere three to five more years here on earth, heaven’s ersatz waiting room?

Probably more concrete and certain to stick with the devil you know. You know?

*GLOOM, DESPAIR AND AGONY ON ME | From the TV Show “Hee-Haw” (1969 -1992) | Buck Owens & Roy Clark

I Only Wanna Be…

  ThatOne

ThatOne has once again exposed me to a whole new and different world: The neighborhood dog park. Yep. You read it right.

The neighborhood dog park is the fun, social hot spot especially for our times.  It’s the place to see and be seen. Different breeds freely associate with the only goals being to play and have fun and sniff some butt.

It’s the closest thing to life in the paradise earth in that people love their dogs, people love to talk about their dogs, the dogs make people smile and laughter, smiles, goodwill abounds. Love, love, love. It’s a wonder John Lennon never wrote a song about it.

Dog park etiquette is enforced like the mafia code of conduct. You are expected to supervise your dog. Your dog may not be aggressive. You are expected to pick up after your dog.

If you decide not to observe The Code, the Poop Police, ever vigilant, who caught your dog in the act will make you an offer you can’t refuse. But nicely. No cement shoes or severed horse heads between red satin sheets here. No one gets angry.

There are no flushed red faces, no outbursts of temper, or dirt kicking or pouting. No, everyone dutifully and often cheerfully marches right over to the temporary latrine, crisp, crackling plastic bag at the ready, and removes the offending mass. No static at all.

There are those infrequent visitors who are both indifferent and disrespectful of The Code. In that case, the Poop Police will pick it up, albeit grudgingly and after some bit of discussion, ever mindful of the fact that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

After a while, people are actually  falling over themselves volunteering to pick up the poop. Cooperation is the operative word. Consideration is the next. People don’t want to step in it and no one wants their dog to step in it, track it into the car or home, or worse, eat it.

The small dog park and the big dog park are adjacent, separated by a fence. The difference between big dog owners and small dog owners is like the difference between the blue jeans and tie wearing high school teacher and the multi-pocketed oversized jeans smock dress wearing kindergarten teacher.

“One pair of matching bookends, different as night and day*.”

Big dog owners seem to be a more mixed, more diverse, more inclusive and homogeneous demographic. In the big dog park there are no cliques, no ridicules “My dog doesn’t like your dog” prejudices. Young people don’t seem to mind at all hanging with the OG’s.

Everybody’s protective and tolerant of one another’s dogs. No one manhandles or is rude, or unkind to anyone’s dog. There is no disrespect. There are never any overprotective “parent” outbursts. When a regular is absent for a few days in a row, there is genuine concern. People take the time, not just to make small talk, but if you listen carefully, you may actually witness a whole conversation taking place.

In the Big dog park, people tend to use the entire length and width of the dog park as opposed to congregating in a specific area. It’s important to stand away from tables and chairs otherwise the dogs will congregate underneath and we all know what can happen when a dog feels cornered.

It’s just a great sort of hidden society. I mean, no one ever comes back to the office after the weekend and tells tales of their weekend in the dog park with Daisy or Rufus or Tank. It’s not a subject that keeps people gathered around the water cooler. It’s never a “hot topic” on the View.

People bring their collapsible canvass chairs, their gallon jugs of water and a book, but you will only get to read your book if you’re alone, you are determined to be alone, and there is no other person in the dog park. It’s not like riding the subway in New York City where possessing an open book screams: “Don’t talk to me. Don’t invade my personal space.” Having a book doesn’t convey the same subliminal “back off” message here in Southern CA. You need to stay home if you really want to be alone.

A well attended, well supported community dog park serves a purpose that is especially important in these difficult times when people are increasingly isolating themselves because they’re jobless or are experiencing some sort of personal and/or financial difficulty.

In my case, I find myself enjoying a sense of community I never experienced before and a sort of camaraderie (dare I say it.., even a level of goodwill) I never experienced in any office I have ever worked in; Goodwill that is freely expressed and that with no strings. It not contingent upon regular attendance. There is no tithe. There’s no joining, no public baptisms, no oaths– no conditions. You go and you– just be.

People describe the love of a dog or any pet they have as “unconditional.” ThatOne isn’t concerned about my anxieties or worries. He doesn’t care if I’m young, or wrinkled or whether my breath is minty fresh. He doesn’t care what I do or don’t do for a living. He’s the same in the back seat of a Honda Civic as he would be in a Bentley. He just only wants to be– with me– just the way I am. That’s how it is at the dog park. The only thing you have to do is be– just the way you are. Canvass chair optional.

Don’t go changing, to try and please me,

You never let me down before,

Don’t imagine, you’re too familiar,

And I don’t see you anymore.

I would not leave you, in times of trouble,

We never could have come this far,

I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times,

I’ll take you just the way you are.

Don’t go trying, some new fashion,

Don’t change the colour of your hair,

You always have my, unspoken passion,

Although I might not seem to care.

I need to know that you will always be

The same old someone that I knew,

What will it take till you believe in me,

The way that I believe in you?

I said I love you, and that’s forever,

And this I promise from the heart,

I couldn’t love you, any better,

I love you just the way you are.

I don’t want clever, conversation,

I never want to work that hard,

I just want someone, that I can talk to,

I want you just the way you are.

| 1977

*The Patty Duke Show Theme | TV series 1963-1966 |