I wish I had a sample of the “ka doi-ing” from Law and Order. That sound always seems to punctuate things just right.
The broadcast media is still energetically consoling themselves with maudlin (witness the James Carville/Mary Maitlin meltdown on the set of Meet the Press this past Sunday), and contrived (the shot of Luke, posing JFK-like in shadow, touching his father’s empty chair on the set of Meet the Press) tributes to Tim Russert.
Don’t get me wrong, I admired Tim Russert. I occasionally tuned in to Meet the Press. Even though I sensed his being overly preoccupied with complying with the imperatives of the network sometimes stifled an initiative to ask the tough questions, his journalistic integrity was leagues above all the screamers and shouters who clearly have the ear, heart and half-a-brain of Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
I am sorry he’s gonna miss this election in November. The world is going to miss his point of view, but I must admit I’m glad the televised long good-bye and the public displays of ”weeping and the gnashing of their teeth*“ will finally be over. “Ka doi-ing!” Moving on…
Then I made the mistake of tuning into The View yesterday morning. I wanted to see Michelle Obama. She looked marvelous! Her makeup was impeccable. Somebody really knew how to tone down those pointy eyebrows. I loved the little frock she was wearing.
She got to be on the panel, not a guest. She got to stand with some nutritionist discussing whether breakfast really is the most important meal of the day. She got to sit next to milquetoast Matthew Broderick while he explained his five year old’s preference for Senator Obama and promote not one but two (really bad) films he’s in. She got to largely ignore the annoyingly grating, always incoherent, trembling prattle of Elisabeth Hasselbeck. (Barbara and the nation all held their collective breath. Would there be a bimbo eruption? Mercifully, not today).
She got to listen without correction or comment as the adorable, but intellectually vacant Sherrie Shepherd mangled her eldest daughter’s name. But even all that wasn’t the “ka doi-ing!” She had to sit in stunned silence, without betraying even the slightest hint of disgust, shock and outrage, while toad after warty toad leapt, head first, from out of the mouth of Whoopi (aka Karen Johnson) Goldberg, each one landing with a resounding thud.
Back in the day, when a Black person behaved badly in public or pulled a stunt like Sammy Davis, Jr. putting the squeeze on Richard Nixon, Black folk observing the behavior would say “He’s an embarrassment, ” or “She’s a disgrace to the race.”
This morning, Whoopi Goldberg’s utterly idiotic, totally out of left field, itchy and scratchy, astonishingly inappropriate, bizarre comment about Black women with no teeth or a mouthful of gold teeth who were not light skinned but “dark” like Michelle and she, was off the charts disgraceful.
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall of the Obama home as Barack and Michelle settle in front of the TV to watch the show together. I imagine the conversation going something like this:
Barack: What..? What’s she saying here? Ya’know, what… what’s she talkin’ about?
Michelle: Dear Heart, you know I don’t have any idea. I had to freeze every muscle in my face so I wouldn’t get caught on camera lookin’ like ‘This u ‘gly bitch said what?’ I heard she was born and raised in New York City. She from New York City, right?
Barack: By way of Alabama, I guess. Wonder what kind of Black folk she grew up watchin’ on TV. Sounds like she talkin’ ’bout Moms Mabley.
Michelle: Well, at least Moms Mabley was funny.
Uproarious laughter… And scene. (a beat)
Take a little time to avoid The View. “Ka doi-ing!”
Asides or Racing thoughts:
- Barack Obama, don’t go to Iraq before the election! Remember Mike Dukakis. Remember Mike Dukakis!
- Chris Matthews, a possible replacement for Tim Russert? I say No.., no.., no!
- Andrea Mitchell, a possible replacement for Tim Russert? Yes!
- Barack Obama and Al Gore. Perfect together.
- Hillary’s “full-throated” endorsement of Barack Obama is beginning to look like OJ’s search for Nicole’s “real” killer.
- Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s contract. Is it up for renewal yet?
*Matt 8:12
