The last time I filled my tank was May 2. Then, gas was $3.98 a gallon here in America’s Finest City. Uh, huh. I handled the shock well. What’s the use in crying?
My gas tank is on the driver’s side so I pull over to the correct side of the island and begin the ritual pump paradigm: 1. Check the pump#. 2. Go to the self-serve ATM. 3. Enter the pump#. 4. Proceed to pump.
There are only two pump islands at this station which incidentally is undergoing renovation. I guess this is why the ATM I’m closest to is out of order so I had to either use the other one two lanes over or go inside the store. Whenever the choice is whether to punch in numbers at a machine or walk up to a counter and have to endure an overdose of “friendly” customer service, I always choose the machine.
So I get back to my car and notice I’m pumping behind a guy, a white guy, in a white shirt and tie. He’s short, about 5′5. He’s gassing up his gigantic, black Cadillac Escalade. I see a little girl bouncing about from this window to the next in the back seat. I wonder why she’s not in a booster seat. She’s only about three or four years old, but then I figure she probably got tired of waiting for Daddy to fill’er up. Judging by how he 
was dressed, filling his tank probably only amounted to a minor but necessary annoyance. White shirt guy in a black Escalade. The picture of 21st century apathy.
Wait. Shhh… Can you hear it? Can you hear the silence? That’s the deafening sound of resignation and learned helplessness, the primary symptoms of terminal Bushwhackpathy.
I got my first unemployment check this week so the gas budget for this week is $50.00. I drive a GMC Suburban. It’s not a V8 so don’t be hatin’. Fifty dollars brought my needle just a tiny scotch past half full. It still felt like “Ouch!” though. I don’t have to do that 40 mile round trip commute anymore so this should last me until July.
Oh! Another bit of interesting news. I got a notice in the mail this week that my stimulus check is on the way. I heard on the news how George Bush and company are spending stupid sums to send out these mailings. At first I thought it was the check, but then it was only notifying me that I was going to be getting the check. Come to think of it, this was the second notification I’ve received. Note to Bush: Just mail the check. Skip the advance press. Save a tree.
