Stress builds up right in my abdomen, the top part. Inside, it feels like a horrible, twisting, scrunching that’s quite painful after a time. I have to take deep breaths then sit bolt upright in my chair with Denise-N-Debbie pointed toward the heavens while I arch my back to relieve the scrunching, grabbing pressure in my upper abdomen. Walking briskly for at least forty minutes offers some relief, but lately, (well not since May 2 anyway), I haven’t been walking.
My stomach has been tied up in knots like this for at least six months. This happens whenever I am stressed. What brought on this internal tummy turmoil this time? iTunes.
I love technology and all the stuff. Yes it’s frustrating sometimes. Blogging has become almost a full time job for me because:
a. I have to stop and read and learn as I go and
b There are so many, many, many, many roads down which to travel with so much to say and so little time.
Then there are the Times Square like attractions: the widgets, the downloads, the animations, the ads. As I’m passing through I stop to study other peoples’ blogs. I am amazed. Objects are looping, spinning, spiraling, flashing. Colors are fading in and out. And the noises and music– luring you to Facebook, and MySpace and Friendster– the sensory overload is like trying to read a Dorling-Kindersley Eyewitness picture book .
Some people have multiple blog sites and web pages and still have time for “social networking.” I’m still trying to wrap my brain around del.icio.us. One can really begin to feel like Alice in Wonderland if one wanders aimlessly about in the blogesphere for too long. And with so many people talking, I wonder how many people are really taking the time to listen. Moodz depends on people listening. People who need people are rarely in a mood for disco balls and flashing lights. It’s like a cyber-arcade– a fun place to visit but I wouldn’t wanna live there.
Then there are the times when things go wrong. Now I have a low threshold for heat, pain and mean people. My sanctuary is my music. Sometimes you just need to plug in and crank it. Yesterday, I was compelled to download RealPlayer. I have enjoyed it in the past, after all it is one of, if not the pioneer Internet music players, but since I got this notebook about a year ago, I hadn’t bothered to download it. I have an iPhone and as you all well know, you have to have iTunes if you have an iPhone. Apple says so.
Today I double clicked on the iTunes icon on my desktop. Spinning blue circle. Then, poof! Vanish. I clicked on it again. Then again. Then, quite inexplicably, my stomach lining began to turn in on itself.. My world was rocked because I couldn’t open my iTunes!
It took several tries. I had to restart my computer twice, then download iTunes from Apple all over again. About a half hour later, I was whole. I haven’t synched up my phone yet. Film at 11. Was it because I downloaded RealPlayer? I wonder what happened?
As my stomach gradually began to relax, (the tightening sensation even now is still subsiding), my thoughts turned to Hillary. My tenacious spirit worked me up into a lather. Hers, too. Why else would she be coming out with all these ghastly verbal blunders? Only she is fighting for– Working class white people? On an otherwise successful trip to Bosnia, only she is fighting to– dodge sniper fire? Now this. Having read and listened to what she said about Bobby Kennedy being assassinated in June I get the point she was trying to make and I want to believe she really isn’t secretly hoping Senator Obama gets assassinated. That would be wrong.
Hillary is exhausted. She’s the only woman in our nation’s history who has ever campaigned this hard and for this long. Even Shirley Chisholm didn’t have to last this long. Maybe that’s why no one is really paying much attention to the downside of this badger-like tenacity. Would anyone in the world community be able to negotiate with her on any level, or will it always have to be her way or the highway because she can hold her breath the longest? Obama’s breezy, breathy, quiet control looks like a cool drink of water next to Hillary’s stinging desert sand. Too bad.
Fierce competition sometimes strengthens character, hell it may even build it. More often than not, though, it simply just reveals it.
